[enter SGT. McCOY and SGT. VAZQUEZ; they salute the General]
JOYNER Sit down, Sergeants. I understand you have a story to tell. Give me the brief version.
VAZQUEZ Well, as you know, our double flyby was the signal for Captain Towelewska to create a diversion in exactly five minutes. According to the kid --
JOYNER R16?
VAZQUEZ -- yes -- she climbed up the bars of her cage and lifted off the roof and jumped down and ran for the exit.
JOYNER How did she do that? Wasn’t it fastened on?
McCOY Somehow over the space of two weeks she found a way to loosen all sixteen screws without anyone noticing. R16 thinks she found a couple of little flat stones during an excavation and hid them in her vagina, and somehow at night she was able to wrap her toes around the bars and lift herself to reach, using the stones as pliers.
JOYNER [to himself ] Remarkable.
McCOY With the guards chasing her, we could come in through the entrance the snitch had left unlocked, with our B squad coming in through the broken roof vent she had identified.
VAZQUEZ She was running rings around those guards. We threw her an M-16 and she helped with clearing out the back corridor. That brought our numbers to thirteen. There was some shooting, and the guards must have thought they were outnumbered and fled. Where our snitch went, we don’t know. Possibly she’s a double agent.
JOYNER I think we have to assume that.
McCOY Amid the gunfire, the Warden had disappeared -- with R16. He must have figured out who we were trying to spring, even if he didn’t know the reason.
VAZQUEZ And that’s when the search began. It took two hours. We finally found R16, and the Captain, and the Warden, and his assistant, in a maintenance building on the grounds. She had been holding them at gunpoint almost all that time. And trying to concentrate despite --
McCOY They had strapped her in one of those “interrogation belts” they would use on her. I never saw anyone so wrung out. She was sweating, her eyes were bugged out, she looked like someone who hadn’t slept in three days, and there was a horrible muffled buzzing from her crotch area. And then she had another of what must have been a long series of orgasms.
JOYNER Good God. How did she let herself get -- trapped like that?
McCOY My guess is that at the prison, they heard the slapping of bare feet coming around the corner, and knew it was her, and they jumped her from the sides, the Warden and his assistant. Then they strapped her into that -- thing.
VAZQUEZ And according to R16, they dragged him, and her, out to the building. Once there, she overcame them and grabbed their gun. And held them there until help arrived. As for the -- device -- she couldn’t take it off without dropping the gun. So she had to stay in that little room, being driven out of her mind, all the time having to keep them at bay.
JOYNER Why did that guy strap that -- thing on her? Why didn’t he just shoot her, or knock her out?
MATHEWS As you know, they were careful not to physically injure her. Per the protocol.
JOYNER [rolling his eyes] Yes -- those “inspections”, which never found any sign of injury.
SPINELLI The torture was only sexual.
McCOY Anyway, she was at the point of exhaustion when we finally broke in. As we entered she collapsed in another orgasm.
VAZQUEZ The Warden was cool as a cucumber. He knew we weren’t going to kill him. As she fell to her knees he looked at us and said, “That was number thirty-seven.” I could have strangled him.
JOYNER Well unfortunately Sergeant, we were paying you not to. Thought I suppose I would have felt the same way. You two are commended for a successful mission in the face of much danger.
McCOY I feel, sir, as if it was partly a failure. Because of the delay caused by our inability to find her and -- what it did to her -- it was painful to watch, as we carried her onto the copter.
JOYNER The Army will do all it can for her, Sergeant. That is all.
More Toweleska!