Mitzi gets snowballed

Martini in one hand, cigarette in the other, standing in a foot of snow on this winter night, Mitzi is explaining Isaac’s plan to Sarah Landau.  They have walked out to the edge of the rise, overlooking a downward slope and then a clutch of trees.  The others are in the house.  It’s one of Isaac’s dinner parties.

“Isaac will clear away that part, next to that big rock, then put in a brick grill.”  She sweeps wide with the hand holding the cigarette.  Then she takes a puff, then a sip.

Sarah, bundled up in a parka, glances down at her stadium boots next to Mitzi’s bare feet and legs, and thinks it was a mistake to wear capri pants.  Her legs are freezing.  Then she peers into the darkness.  There are no lights in that parcel of land that Isaac just purchased and she can barely see what Mitzi is referring to.  The lights from the house throw elongated shadows in front of them in the snow, Mitzi’s quite a bit shorter than hers.  The voices inside get louder as someone opens a door and people come outside.

“Oy!”  Mitzi squeals as a snowball hits her on the butt.  By instinct she turns around.  “Akk!”  Snowballs hit her breasts, her face, and squarely on her pubic hair.  “Gevalt!!”  Sarah runs away and Mitzi awkwardly tries to run to her left, hopping through the snow, still holding her martini and cigarette.  She gets hit on the side.  There are six men at the party and it seems like all six are busily creating ammunition and then firing, blasting her side, making her right breast jump.  The snowballs are soft and don’t hurt, but each leaves a tattoo of impacted flakes on her skin.  Now she turns to her right, still running, but is no better off.  She is like a toy duck being shot at in a carnival booth.  Then she drops what she is holding as she falls down the slope.

There is a cease-fire for a few seconds.  In the dim light they see Mitzi’s head, her black hair blasted with white, rising like a ghost from behind the crest.  Her fall caused a long rollover tumble in the snow.  She is now encrusted down to her bare toes.  She stumbles toward the house, her hands held up to block more incoming white projectiles.  However the bombardment has stopped.  Everyone has gone back inside.

She tries the sliding glass door but they have locked it!  “Let me in, people!!”  She leans against the glass, beating it overhead with her fists, her breasts pressed against it like big balloons.  Half laughing now, she stands back and does what some women do in the bedroom as a joke, pulling her breasts forward one after another like twin howitzers on a tank, except for her she needs two hands for each breast.  “I’ll get you!  Boom!  Boom!  Boom!  Boom!”

She catches her breath and hugs herself.  She is pretty much immune to cold (or rather, she doesn’t let it bother her) but even she has her limits.  “Let me in, people!”  She stamps her feet, wiggling her toes to get some feeling back.  “It’s COLD out here!!”

She disappears, darting around to the front of the house, and gets in the front door before Saul can get there to lock it too.  “You people!!” she says, shivering, dripping all over.  Sarah brings out a towel which is quickly returned when Mitzi has dried herself.  She keeps shivering as her warmth is restored with another martini.  Later, she gets back at Saul, who was the main instigator, by mushing a snowball in his face when they go out to leave.