Tami Gets Drunk

Not the only time.

         That night Tami went to Rod’s place again.  Rod had bought a bottle of red wine.  Tami began telling him what happened after the last diary entry, her adventures with McMasters and then making her way across the country from California.  Through it all she kept pouring herself more and more wine.  “I wished so much you were there,” she kept saying.  Rod sat there amazed, and also amused, as his girlfriend proceeded to get smashed.

         Around eleven o’clock, in the middle of talking about ingenious ways to torture Ross and McMasters and the Dean should they ever find them -- the drunk naked girl was into a rambling and (by then) not very accurate discussion of how to compute the area of a box to be used as a testicle crusher -- she suddenly got up and said, “I’ve got to show you where it started.”

         Before Rod could protest she had grabbed his hand and the naked girl had run, staggering, onto the dark deserted campus to show her boyfriend, clad in jeans and a T-shirt, where she had gotten caught by campus security while running naked as part of that stupid sorority dare.

         “I wazh over here,” she said, pointing to a bush next to the gym, “no I mean over here,” she staggered over to another bush.  “Samantha was over there,” she said, hardly able to walk, breasts bouncing with each jolting step.  “Then I ran over like this to the art building.”

         Even drunk, Tami was a fast runner and it was hard for Rod to keep up, though staying behind her he got a good view of her breasts bouncing and butt cheeks pumping, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  They got over to the art building and she said, “Then I ran in and found a shmock .  .  .  and ran this way.”  Again Rod followed her unsteady gallop toward Pilgrim Hall.

         “And then I had to hide in thish tree,” she said, pointing up, and falling backward into Rod’s rescuing arms. “Wow, thanks.  And the smock got ripped off.  And then -- no firsht I got over to North Hall and these drunk guys saw me.  And THEN I came back from the tree over to these bushes.”  She was getting a little winded now, as was Rod.  “And then there was a light -- whoa -- ”  Again she fell back into Rod’s arms. Rod was resigned to the fact that he was going to carry her either to her dorm room or maybe all the way back to his apartment.

         And then there was a light.  Namely, the headlights of a campus security car.  Tami thought she was dreaming, but Rod froze.  Tami was underage.  Rod wasn’t.  Being found drunk on campus could only be trouble.

         It was an officer they hadn’t seen before.  He sized up the situation and said to Rod, “Is she O.K.?”

         “Y - yeah, she’ll be all right.”

         “Can I take you back to your dorm?”  the officer asked the bleary-eyed naked teenager.

         “Uhhh .  .  .”

         “No, I’ll take care of her,” Rod said.

         The officer asked to see some I.D.  from Rod.  From Tami, of course, no I.D. card was necessary.  “I hope Miss Smithers is O.K.,” the officer said.

         And the officer watched as Rod hefted Tami over his shoulder and carried her away off campus.  As the naked girl faced down toward the grass, admiring Rod’s jeans-clad butt, she figured she should be polite and lifted herself up enough to wave bye-bye to the officer, one hand extended downward to prop herself up on Rod’s butt, her breasts bouncing into the night.