the perils of being a (permanently) nude model

McNALLY Can’t you walk faster?

MEIER We’re not supposed to be in a hurry.  Besides, it’s only about a quarter of a mile.

McNALLY A quarter mile to frostbitten toes and g - general hypothermia.

MEIER You’ve done this before.  Behave this time.  Every artist in town will be there.

McNALLY Why do you have to p - parade me around like this?

MEIER Us keeping to ourselves looks suspicious.  I’ve been getting out more and so

should you.  That's why I made sure everyone knew that you’d be coming, so

that you can hook up with other artists, instead of posing for just me.

McNALLY Great.  Showing my bare butt to more people.  You’re still p - parading me

around.

MEIER Well there’s not much other work around here for a girl who’s naked at all

times.  And you can do fun things.  I told you already, use that nice camera of

mine and just stroll around, taking pictures.

McNALLY Not my idea of fun.  My idea of fun is staying in the cabin with a hot chocolate,

and reading online.  And pretending I at least had blankets.

MEIER Try going out on Thursday.  It’s supposed to be nice then.  Ten degrees

Celsius.

McNALLY Nice!  In my home t - town that would be a record low.

MEIER Think about Miami later.  In a minute we’ll be there.  People to talk to.  Please

try to get your story right this time.

McNALLY I th - think I’ve done pretty well, considering.

MEIER You told Mr. Andersen you’ve been naked for two years.  After telling Miss

Olssen it was three.

McNALLY When was that?

MEIER When you were posing for my charcoal snow portrait.

McNALLY What did you expect?  I was half f- freezing to death.  And you were taking your

sweet time, you b - bastard.  I c - couldn’t feel my b - butt.

MEIER It’s still not good enough.  And to tell them you grew up in Bloomington,

Minnesota!  It was supposed to be Indiana!  It was pure luck there’s a

Bloomington in Minnesota too.  I don’t want any more screwups.  That’s why I

wrote those answers out for you.  Did you memorize them?

McNALLY Yes.  They’re inane.  You’re making me look like a b - bimbo.

MEIER Just stay on script.

McNALLY D - do I have to remind you I outrank you?

MEIER I’m supposed to be monitoring our cover.

McNALLY In my case, lack of cover.

MEIER That’s another thing.  You cringe too much.  You’re supposed to be comfortable

with being naked.  Embrace your nudity.  Don’t shiver, don’t hug yourself, don’t

rub your arms.  Remember: you don’t fear the cold.  You just make allowances

for it.

McNALLY Easy for you to say!

MEIER Just follow my instructions.  Am I exceeding my brief here?

McNALLY [after a pause]  No.

MEIER It’s difficult for me trying to control you, going right up to the edge of

insubordination.

McNALLY F**k you.  I can tell you about f**king d - d - difficult!  It’s not fair!

MEIER That may be true but it’s not relevant.

McNALLY May be true! . . . We’re almost there, f - finally.

MEIER Let me I remind you: don’t run.  Stay with me.

McNALLY You’re f**king slowing down.  Asshole!